Ocean's 12

A lot's been going on in my life, and it's not like anybody's actually reading these, so I apologize to myself, I suppose, for not updating. This will be short.

I'm a big fan of the new Ocean movies; enough to want to find the original, but that will have to wait until I have a bit more throw-around cash. Anyway, when this movie came out a few years ago, most didn't expect it to be as good as 11, and their expectations were spot on. The plot was stupid and seemed rushed. This was a huge disappointment since the cast is superb and with a little more effort, the writers could have made it gold.

See, the premise isn't too bad when you think about it: Andy Garcia's character seeks out Danny Ocean's crew to get back his money, girlfriend, and then some. Thoroughly caught, the team has to make a bigger theft to repay Garcia for the millions they nabbed. Not bad, right? That's essentially the entire plot, though, and while the humorous banter is still good, the movie begins to feel like roadkill dragging under a car for miles. The final straw is when Julia Roberts' character plays none other than Julia Roberts in order to draw attention away from the heist. It backfires, of course, for the plot's sake...which I'm so glad for. The amount of sickness I experienced while watching that part was massive. It caused a crash and burn effect so immense that even the good parts of that movie were caught in the flames of its awfulness.

Thank goodness that its sequel was almost as good as 11, because this movie could only be worse if it was nothing but shameless product placement, one-liners, and fan service quotes to other theft movies. If you must watch this movie, make sure you have 11 and 13 to balance out this vile excuse for cinema.